Poison

I've been blessed with a pretty strong body. (hic, I just realized how that sentence sounds, anyone reading this who knows me might be rolling on the floor laughing. Get up! That's not what I meant!) I think I'm pretty immune to most food bacteria, probably from all the dirt and glue and ants I ate as a child. I usually don't get sick from what I eat, even though most of the stuff in my fridge is past due. I think the worst I can remember is when I went to Vietnam and ate cháo gà (chicken rice porridge) late at night - I think those strips of chicken had been sitting on the table all day - in Móng Cái on the Vietnam-China border. Oh my goodness, it's moments like those that I really appreciate the health that I take for granted each day!!

But last night I was hit with something new. I have this spot in the upper-middle part of my back that collects my stress. According to my mom, it's right above my guilt-collecting and pressure-of-saving-the-world-collecting spots. Oh man, it hurt last night. It felt like I was getting acupuncture with a wooden spoon. But I wasn't stressed, I was spread too thin, I wasn't even busy. Fortunately, I was able to fall asleep despite by backpain (it just occurred to me that someone might have been doing voodoo on me...lol) and this morning I had an epiphany in the shower as I pondered the reason of my sudden pain. I had poisoned myself. Even though I had a great Memorial Day, it wasn't such a great Memorial evening and night (my own fault) and I fell into a cycle of thinking negative thoughts. I was really just pouting, but I allowed these negative thoughts to dig deep enough that it got to me somatically. That's scary. It happened in like 20 minutes, a slippery slope that ended in my aching back. I know the current health push is "detoxing the body" - I recently read that drinking water every morning that has sat all night in a pure brass cup will help cleanse your system of toxins, sounds like it might repel vampires as well - but what about the mind? My body, that can withstand so many kinds of bacteria for such a long period of time, just crumbles beneath negative thoughts. Those thoughts are the poison that knows no immunity or barrier. I'm just glad I kept my mouth shut (mostly) and didn't spread my poison on to my wife.

ps. mom, I'm feeling better now :)