I've been blessed with a pretty strong body. (hic, I just realized how that sentence sounds, anyone reading this who knows me might be rolling on the floor laughing. Get up! That's not what I meant!) I think I'm pretty immune to most food bacteria, probably from all the dirt and glue and ants I ate as a child. I usually don't get sick from what I eat, even though most of the stuff in my fridge is past due. I think the worst I can remember is when I went to Vietnam and ate cháo gà (chicken rice porridge) late at night - I think those strips of chicken had been sitting on the table all day - in Móng Cái on the Vietnam-China border. Oh my goodness, it's moments like those that I really appreciate the health that I take for granted each day!!

But last night I was hit with something new. I have this spot in the upper-middle part of my back that collects my stress. According to my mom, it's right above my guilt-collecting and pressure-of-saving-the-world-collecting spots. Oh man, it hurt last night. It felt like I was getting acupuncture with a wooden spoon. But I wasn't stressed, I was spread too thin, I wasn't even busy. Fortunately, I was able to fall asleep despite by backpain (it just occurred to me that someone might have been doing voodoo on me...lol) and this morning I had an epiphany in the shower as I pondered the reason of my sudden pain. I had poisoned myself. Even though I had a great Memorial Day, it wasn't such a great Memorial evening and night (my own fault) and I fell into a cycle of thinking negative thoughts. I was really just pouting, but I allowed these negative thoughts to dig deep enough that it got to me somatically. That's scary. It happened in like 20 minutes, a slippery slope that ended in my aching back. I know the current health push is "detoxing the body" - I recently read that drinking water every morning that has sat all night in a pure brass cup will help cleanse your system of toxins, sounds like it might repel vampires as well - but what about the mind? My body, that can withstand so many kinds of bacteria for such a long period of time, just crumbles beneath negative thoughts. Those thoughts are the poison that knows no immunity or barrier. I'm just glad I kept my mouth shut (mostly) and didn't spread my poison on to my wife.

ps. mom, I'm feeling better now :)


Jennie said...

Hey, glad to see you're back!

Reading this blog totally reminds me of my ex-boyfriend (which is not a bad thing, I think the world of him). He used to get back aches too, and would get tense. He thought it was from being too anxious about how to change his life, others' lives, how bad his life was, etc. Like you, he finally realized that he needed to get rid of all those negative thoughts and take a deep breath.

I heard Yoga, or anything meditative, works well too!

Hope your back is feeling better today!

xanghe said...

Thanks for the advice! My mom's a yogi and she even gave me a video of basic yoga moves. However, she's also a masseuse and I think I prefer her backrubs to doing yoga any day ~lol~ which isn't too often since she's in Utah and I'm not. Perhaps the most calming thing I do right now is sit out back in the cool evening breeze and play my guitar. I'm also restarting one of my old junior-high hobbies - crocheting. So I'm trying! :)

travel log
  • 02.13.08 - to the temple with Luan and his mom, good to be back
  • 02.14.08 - Mẫu's alive! and staying for the weekend
  • 02.15.08 - floor hockey and Thái food makes for some strange dreams
  • 02.17.08 - frisbee and swamp monster at the park: fun but I'm pooped!
  • 02.19.08 - just read Triết's response to my last post - game on!
  • 02.20.08 - raining and expected to continue through Sunday - thank goodness!
  • 02.21.08 - 3-hour nap is a bad idea right before bed
  • 02.23.08 - to the beach to watch kites, a baptism @ 5pm, and homemade bulgogi - what a day!
  • 02.25.08 - just gave myself a haircut - woo, cold head!
  • 02.26.08 - 75° and spring cleaning - couldn't feel better
  • 02.27.08 - fed the elders bún đậu tonight - think it's their first time
  • 03.01.08 - working on new background...
  • 03.02.08 - finalized javascript to change background without muffing up my other scripts
  • 03.03.08 - fhe: "In his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:12)
  • 03.07.08 - some decisions are harder than others, but some are downright excruciating
  • 03.08.08 - there is life after work... i almost forgot
  • 03.11.08 - the distance between good and bad is much shorter than between better and best
  • 03.12.08 - conversion is sometimes a gradual process, so much so that we don't even notice
  • 03.14.08 - for some reason everything was a little harder today, looking forward for bed!
  • 03.15.08 - last night after blog reading, I missed OnlyBlue, today I find she's back
  • 03.16.08 - best day of my life!
  • 03.19.08 - "Pray for the answer that they've been looking for"
release notes v1.0 - FINALLY DONE!
  • 12.07 - first thought of starting a new blog
  • 01.08 - busy with election stuff but blog design still on back burner
  • 01.13.08 - first idea to imitate jk rowling with the "desk" theme
  • 01.28.08 - start sketching current design, breaking down development into phases
  • 02.02.08 - election only days away but still drafting final plans
  • 02.04.08 - v0.6 LAUNCH
    • main components (blog body, sidebar, header, etc) designed and implemented
    • styling for font, links, drop caps, etc. finished
  • 02.07.08 - v0.8 LAUNCH
    • image style to imitate polariod
    • moveability - post-it notes and static clings can be repositioned by drag and drop
    • release notes styled and written
  • 02.16.08 - travel log (beta) added in hopes of catching the mundane
  • 02.22.08 - lightbox 2.03 reinstalled and working fine (hopefully - let me know otherwise)
  • 02.26.08 - v0.9 LAUNCH
    • travel log seems to be working, so I'll keep it
    • lightbox also seems to have passed the test, so it's a keeper
    • some credits/info added to bottom (will expand)
    • keeping old Viet terms in archive for future viewing
  • 03.18.08 - v1.0 LAUNCH
    • installation and testing of time-sensitive background completed (for now)