Lost in the Wilderness. And Found

It's finally over. The biggest election in history (or so I heard, over and over and over) is finally over and my life has returned to normal. Registrars and elections officials across the country still have to finish up the counts on remaining ballots, check provisional ballots for qualifications, complete the post-election canvass and hand count 1% of all ballots cast (all the stuff you don't hear about on Fox and CNN) before the election is certified, but for all intents and purposes, the election is over. I got home at 4:30 yesterday. Life is good.

For the last year, I've felt some serious changes a'brewin in my life and I now's the time to implement them. I was sorting through some pictures last night and found this one from when we went hiking up in O'Neill park last spring (I did not photoshop the orange stuff in - it was this stringy stuff that covered half of the vegetation out there, kind of like War of the Worlds or something). I felt that it was very indicative of my current situation, lost as can be out in the middle of the wilderness but now free to finally start moving again. I'm going to go back to school for a masters in Environmental Science and Public Policy. I'm intrigued with energy and how we as humans can tap into the huge reservoirs of energy all around us, without burning all the oil in our lamps. We'll see how far that road takes me.

I was praying last night and wondering why 3-4 years ago I got everything I wanted without even asking. I've been applying for jobs here and there lately and nothing has worked out, but back then I applied for one job and just got it. I applied to one university and I just got it. I applied for one wife and just got her (I might get smacked for saying that, but it's true :P ). Back then, I had no clue what I was doing, I didn't have a direction, I could care less about making money, and I thought school was just so interesting but I never took the time to figure how it would translate into a career. The only thing I really put any stock into was my church and the youth I was called to serve. I feel so much more established now, I've laid out my path, I know what I want and I have a direction, but everything's moving like molasses and I haven't seen really any progress at all! Last night, I was perplexed: how could an oblivious, uneducated, naive person like me 3 years ago with no plans of his own just fall into fortune's path... then it hit. Duh. Oblivious: not impeded by his own thoughts. Uneducated: not stuck to what he thinks is right. Naive: not stopped by his own pride. No plans of his own: ready to accept the plans from Someone higher. I was being led because all my all was directed towards serving others. Now I have my big plans, but I'm so involved in them that I don't reach out like I used to. There's the answer. Hope I learn it this time.

By the way, there's going to be a big earthquake:

1 comment:

Allison said...

Ben! Just found your blog through your facebook post. How are you? I love this post. Very inspiring. You need to post some pics of your darling wife. And I also have a blog, though it's private. If you want an invite send me a message via facebook with your email address.

travel log
  • 02.13.08 - to the temple with Luan and his mom, good to be back
  • 02.14.08 - Mẫu's alive! and staying for the weekend
  • 02.15.08 - floor hockey and Thái food makes for some strange dreams
  • 02.17.08 - frisbee and swamp monster at the park: fun but I'm pooped!
  • 02.19.08 - just read Triết's response to my last post - game on!
  • 02.20.08 - raining and expected to continue through Sunday - thank goodness!
  • 02.21.08 - 3-hour nap is a bad idea right before bed
  • 02.23.08 - to the beach to watch kites, a baptism @ 5pm, and homemade bulgogi - what a day!
  • 02.25.08 - just gave myself a haircut - woo, cold head!
  • 02.26.08 - 75° and spring cleaning - couldn't feel better
  • 02.27.08 - fed the elders bún đậu tonight - think it's their first time
  • 03.01.08 - working on new background...
  • 03.02.08 - finalized javascript to change background without muffing up my other scripts
  • 03.03.08 - fhe: "In his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:12)
  • 03.07.08 - some decisions are harder than others, but some are downright excruciating
  • 03.08.08 - there is life after work... i almost forgot
  • 03.11.08 - the distance between good and bad is much shorter than between better and best
  • 03.12.08 - conversion is sometimes a gradual process, so much so that we don't even notice
  • 03.14.08 - for some reason everything was a little harder today, looking forward for bed!
  • 03.15.08 - last night after blog reading, I missed OnlyBlue, today I find she's back
  • 03.16.08 - best day of my life!
  • 03.19.08 - "Pray for the answer that they've been looking for"
release notes v1.0 - FINALLY DONE!
  • 12.07 - first thought of starting a new blog
  • 01.08 - busy with election stuff but blog design still on back burner
  • 01.13.08 - first idea to imitate jk rowling with the "desk" theme
  • 01.28.08 - start sketching current design, breaking down development into phases
  • 02.02.08 - election only days away but still drafting final plans
  • 02.04.08 - v0.6 LAUNCH
    • main components (blog body, sidebar, header, etc) designed and implemented
    • styling for font, links, drop caps, etc. finished
  • 02.07.08 - v0.8 LAUNCH
    • image style to imitate polariod
    • moveability - post-it notes and static clings can be repositioned by drag and drop
    • release notes styled and written
  • 02.16.08 - travel log (beta) added in hopes of catching the mundane
  • 02.22.08 - lightbox 2.03 reinstalled and working fine (hopefully - let me know otherwise)
  • 02.26.08 - v0.9 LAUNCH
    • travel log seems to be working, so I'll keep it
    • lightbox also seems to have passed the test, so it's a keeper
    • some credits/info added to bottom (will expand)
    • keeping old Viet terms in archive for future viewing
  • 03.18.08 - v1.0 LAUNCH
    • installation and testing of time-sensitive background completed (for now)