Time to go and Thoughts on the Packing Ritual

I'm sitting here at work but my head is anywhere but at work. In a few short hours I'll be boarding a plane to Vietnam, unless my friend jinxed us last night by telling us that her sister had to wait a full day in the airport because their flight was delayed.

We finished most of the packing last time, i.e. stuffing stuff into big boxes with the intent on distributing it to family members and needy people once we get there. For those of us who grew up in America, the things being sent are very... mundane. Sundry items one might find in a thrift store - a maternity dress from the 80's, a sparkly fiber optic flower with music, boxes of dầu xanh, (a mentholated eucalyptus oil that is standard among Vietnamese home remedies, used so much that it is parodied among some younger Vietnamese folk as a cure-all elixir of some magical origin), toothbrushes, gloves, and don't forget the Fuji apples and seedless grapes.

I think it's a type of ritual. All of this stuff being send back, much of it second-hand clothing that is intended for the "huddled masses" in the Northern region of the country, seems to satisfy a longing in the sender more the recipient. Without making too broad a generalization, I think that many Vietnamese left their war-torn, famined, destitute homeland 25 - 30 years ago, but that image has never left them. I believe there might still be a hint of survivor guilt in those living here, especially when there are still family members living in "Vietnam." The urge to gửi đồ về, the constant drive to send things back to Vietnam perhaps originates from that guilt and a desire to redeem oneself from the sin of leaving Vietnam and not bringing the rest of the country with them.

I don't think this ritual stems out of need. On a comparative basis, my relatives-in-law in Vietnam live "better" lives than we do: a maid to cook and clean, frequent vacations around Asia, and an army of people in America ready to send "American" merchandise at the drop of a hat: candy and chocolates, Levi and Old Navy, Legos for the kids. Although there doesn't seem to be a "need" for these things, the expectation is definitely there. From what I hear, some families don't want all of that stuff, they just want American cash. Lots of it.

So the ritual of packing a bunch of stuff every time someone goes back to Vietnam might have two purposes: a cleansing of guilt that all travelers must pass through in order to be fit to enter the "homeland," and a tribute to those "stuck" in Vietnam.