Van and Hai's Wedding pics!

111508_VanHaiWed-SealingUT077, originally uploaded by xanghe.

Mawwiage. Mawwiage iss what bwings us togever today.

Lost in the Wilderness. And Found

It's finally over. The biggest election in history (or so I heard, over and over and over) is finally over and my life has returned to normal. Registrars and elections officials across the country still have to finish up the counts on remaining ballots, check provisional ballots for qualifications, complete the post-election canvass and hand count 1% of all ballots cast (all the stuff you don't hear about on Fox and CNN) before the election is certified, but for all intents and purposes, the election is over. I got home at 4:30 yesterday. Life is good.

For the last year, I've felt some serious changes a'brewin in my life and I now's the time to implement them. I was sorting through some pictures last night and found this one from when we went hiking up in O'Neill park last spring (I did not photoshop the orange stuff in - it was this stringy stuff that covered half of the vegetation out there, kind of like War of the Worlds or something). I felt that it was very indicative of my current situation, lost as can be out in the middle of the wilderness but now free to finally start moving again. I'm going to go back to school for a masters in Environmental Science and Public Policy. I'm intrigued with energy and how we as humans can tap into the huge reservoirs of energy all around us, without burning all the oil in our lamps. We'll see how far that road takes me.

I was praying last night and wondering why 3-4 years ago I got everything I wanted without even asking. I've been applying for jobs here and there lately and nothing has worked out, but back then I applied for one job and just got it. I applied to one university and I just got it. I applied for one wife and just got her (I might get smacked for saying that, but it's true :P ). Back then, I had no clue what I was doing, I didn't have a direction, I could care less about making money, and I thought school was just so interesting but I never took the time to figure how it would translate into a career. The only thing I really put any stock into was my church and the youth I was called to serve. I feel so much more established now, I've laid out my path, I know what I want and I have a direction, but everything's moving like molasses and I haven't seen really any progress at all! Last night, I was perplexed: how could an oblivious, uneducated, naive person like me 3 years ago with no plans of his own just fall into fortune's path... then it hit. Duh. Oblivious: not impeded by his own thoughts. Uneducated: not stuck to what he thinks is right. Naive: not stopped by his own pride. No plans of his own: ready to accept the plans from Someone higher. I was being led because all my all was directed towards serving others. Now I have my big plans, but I'm so involved in them that I don't reach out like I used to. There's the answer. Hope I learn it this time.

By the way, there's going to be a big earthquake:

Your Temple

Everybody needs to have a temple of their own. A place of peace, where you can come close to Nature and the Divine. A place where all things begin to make sense, where confusion and troubles give way to clarity and opportunities. Where you learn all the things that you already knew, which somehow seem new in contrast with your current struggles.

When problems make their way into your heart, or you're exhausted from always battling with the same questions that keep you up every night, don't find a distraction. Don't blast it away with loud music or hide it away with smoky darkness or drink it away with temporary elixirs. Don't sweep it under the mat or settle for impermanent solutions. Don't run away to a distant land, only to find your monster waiting on your doorstep. Don't bury yourself in busy-ness and work, only to find your assailant working right beside you. Don't ignore it for so long that your bottled-up emotional trauma suddenly becomes somatic and you become so ill that you can't do any good for anyone.

There's something absolutely terrifying about looking fear in the face. Lost hope and unmet expectations are even worse. Defeat and doubt probably the worst of all. But once faced, these enemies can no longer haunt you because you see them for what they are: spiritual imbalance. Something is out of whack between how you perceive your inner soul and how your soul really is. Someone's singing off note and you think it's your soul but your soul thinks it's you.

The only way back is through the doors of your temple. Stepping away from the worries of the world and allowing, for only a moment, your mind and heart to get back in tune. Taking all the little pieces of your emotion that life has flung around your soul and connecting them back together. Permitting a higher power to cleanse the filth that collects in the cracks of your heart. It's like defragmenting your spirit.

I just got back from one of my temples (yes, I have many) and I feel like I've been liberated from a wicked tyrant who has held me hostage for a long time. I entered with a specific question, and got the answer almost before I sat down. After 2 good hours of meditation, I have no clue what went on around me but I know that my life has been changed and a new direction set. Actually, it's the old direction that I knew I should have been following anyway, but refinding it has made all the difference.

Dreams

the only thing now that can get to me, now i've found my dreams
is when I look in her eyes and see that i don't meet what she needs in me
first come the smarts and then come the skills, i finally got my degree
but what happens when the rice comes to an end?
the skills make the heroes and smarts become dead

i'm looking forward but can't see

the books on the shelf are collecting dust, i've consumed them all
but now and again i hear words in my head that
all of this theory still can't meet the ends

i'm looking forward but can't see

sometimes i dream of my children, all so pure and naive
they love unconditional, illuminating
all of the things I've been taught from the start
reminding me of the angels they are
but when they ask for bread
how can i give stones instead?

i'm looking forward but can't see

i know I have more, i scream to the sky
endowed with all things that i need in this life
but can i give more? can't I give more?

i watch them asleep on a bed of dreams as i make my night call
wondering what all their wishes mean and if i can meet them all

i'm looking forward but can't see

i'm looking forward but can't see

Tết Trung Thu social

Come see our photos
We had our summer social for the branch last night, which happened to fall near Tết Trung Thu, so we sang a Tết Trung Thu song and called it good. It was one of the better socials I've been to as of late - nice and intimate, and more games for the kids than you can shake a stick at!

I unknowingly took most of these at 480x640 (dork!) Thanks Kathy for letting us use your camera.

Harmony

Some art just speaks to me. Last year, someone sent me a little animation called Animator vs Animation. I watched it several times, then began to browse the other works of Mr Alan Becker, the "Animator" of that short. I found in his journal that he had a sister, who went by "ilsung," who was an artist as well. Seeing that Alan was out doing good as a missionary and would therefore be unable to update his page anymore, I wandered over to ilsung's page to see some of her works. I was enchanted. There was something about her art - no, it's her expression, her feeling, her originality- that held me speechless for a moment as I looked through her gallery. I called my wife over and we looked together, commenting on the simple, graceful lines and hues that made up her images. We downloaded some we've used them as our wallpapers ever since. I even have this image as my phone wallpaper. I just feel happy when I look at it.

I've stopped by often since then, enjoying her new pieces, browsing back to my old favorites and admiring her skill. I've learned what it is that draws me to her most recent work: a constant reach upward (example), an inspiring draw to the heavenly (example), and her portrayal of heaven's interaction with with we mere mortals (example).

Harmony is now preparing to leave on her missionary service. My wife and I wish her well and hope she does much good while she's there. But we also look forward to when she returns, in case we want to change our wallpaper.

Nhà tôi

Lúc gặp khó nhà tôi cũng hộ
Bản thân đầy xấu cứ dối là thiện
Nãy sửng sốt gặp ma trong nhà
Nhà tôi đã bền không bỏ không trách
Nay nhận ân trời ban trong nhà
Nhận tôi bị ám chứ không phải nhà.

the Strait and Narrow

IMG_4877, originally uploaded by onlyblue.

This photo is so full of symbolism to me... I've been looking at it all morning.

Walk

Yesterday I had to walk so much
After biking to and fro from work
Like any normal day
I took a new bus route to school
Fell asleep
Passed Chapman
Went all the way to Katella
Before I figured out Chapman
Was 5 minutes ago
Jumped off the bus
Can't miss class
Ran the mile in my office clothes
And 5-year-old Sketchers
With too many holes and not enough tread
Fell upon the bus stop
"The bus broke down, we'll have to wait for the next one"
Great.
2 hours of class and back to the bus
Caught the early one
Might get some homework done tonight
Off the bus, to the next stop
Bus not scheduled for 34 minutes
Great.
I'll be home by then
If I walk
And I did.

Today while riding my bike to and fro from work
I saw a man a-crossing the street
Pink pack, shorter than most
Behind the rest
One leg longer
Than the other
Never corrected
Limping in back
Knee over-extended
Foot under-curved in a painful arch
Limping in back
Across the street
Through the parking lot
Into the way station
Red light to Green
Go

Thank you, Lord, for letting me walk so much

Belated and Unfinished Xanghe Version 1.0

Well, it's done. For now. I've been working on this little blog since January and now it's time to stop. I'm not done with everything I was planning to do, but life has a way of pulling in different directions quite suddenly and I've just been yanked. So no more blog design. For now.

Here's a condensed list of the release notes, accessible from the link in the top corner:

• 02.04.08 - v0.6 LAUNCH




• main components (blog body, sidebar, header, etc) designed and implemented


• styling for font, links, drop caps, etc. finished




• 02.07.08 - v0.8 LAUNCH




• image style to imitate polariod


• moveability - post-it notes and static clings can be repositioned by drag and drop


• release notes styled and written




• 02.26.08 - v0.9 LAUNCH




• travel log seems to be working, so I'll keep it


• lightbox also seems to have passed the test, so it's a keeper


• some credits/info added to bottom (will expand)


• keeping old Viet terms in archive for future viewing




• 03.18.08 - v1.0 LAUNCH




• installation and testing of time-sensitive background completed (for now)

Now that time-sensitive background is supposed to be much more than it now is. So far, I've only got a day, night and sunrise background, and it's all in winter. I had big plans, like having spring, summer and fall seasons and even attach some script to an rss weather feed and have the background change with the actual weather. Big plans. But sometimes big plans never materialize, as is the case with my now perpetual-winter-mountain-town background.

I had dinner with some good friends tonight, and the discussion turned to a project that I participated in several years ago. I need to reinvolve myself in working with people. Blogging is nice, but there's magic in the touch of a human being, physical or otherwise. The Magic of Touch - that may make a nice post someday. Perhaps after I post on The Magic of the Khổ Qua - How the Most Bitter Melon on Earth Can Actually Cure All Your Problems.